“Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.” -Sir Walter Scott
You say you’re in control, but what you do behind closed doors speaks a different story. Hey man how’s your purity? “Oh good, good,” you say. “You know, like, I’m trying to ‘bounce’ my eyes.” Yeah, okay. ‘In control’ is one of those terms we use liberally. What does it actually mean…to you? In control is not appearing to be pure, but in reality you just looked at porn last night (side note, some of you may justify what you looked at not as porn because of ‘this’ reason or ‘that,’ but whatever you want to call it, it has the same damn…ing effects). In control is not showing fake vulnerability, sharing how lust has definitely been a struggle, when you have been secretly having an affair or visiting prostitutes or strip clubs or bikini baristas or massage parlors for a happy ending. We feel most in control when we think we can manage or manipulate one’s opinion about us. We share to the point we are comfortable in being labeled. I think that shows your deepest belief, your deepest motivation, the driving force for your life. My friend, let us put off the façade and the masks we so habitually wear. Can we change the definition of being “put-together?” What if the new normal within the Christian community was admitting the messiness within us, and the crazy person was the one that was always just fine with no problems whatsoever? Don’t be deceived about your current state. Be brutally honest with yourself, with our gracious Father, and with a few select others. Figure out the real reason you want to appear so grandiose to others and start admitting it. Your hidden life, and if you’re a man reading this you MOST LIKELY have a hidden life sexually to one degree or another, has to be brought to the light. Don’t be deceived, you will never, seriously, never experience freedom if not. If you decide to keep those parts of you in the dark forever, then that will reveal what you are truly living for. There is no on the fence, you have to choose. The web is sticky!